I managed to start this blog because I am on medical leave at home. which leaves me to wonder and contemplate about illness. Upon reflection, it was my liking for ‘heaty’ food that caused my tonsils to flare up again, resulting in an infection, downing me for 2 days.
So illness is a form of reality check isn’t it? if you have fever, you have fever, there is no way to deny that existence. similarly, if your technique needs improvement, improve it, train harder, no amount of self-delusion and imagination can make you a better exponent, no ifs no buts about it. Illness is a reality check, no matter how fit and well we are, we are still susceptible to pains and aches. illnesses and disease. Same goes to our technique, no matter how hard we train or how skillful we become, we need to know the limits and work our understanding around it.
Speaking of knowing the limits, it makes me wonder since i am aware of the food i should avoid, why am i not avoiding them? it’s not about discipline, or the lack of it, it’s about the lack of understanding on how the dynamics of what we put in our mouth will affect what our body can do. Personally for me at this level, it’s no longer about discipline, it’s about understanding which is more sustainable and carries the meaning deeper than just discipline. there is a why nad why not out there and it is my job to find out both.
Many years back, when i first started training with Harry sensei, he was discipline, nowadays, he is understanding. which appeals to me because ultimately we need to acknowledge our vulnerability. Harry sensei at this advancement in chronology, understands his vulnerability, and the meaning or meaningless of discipline. Discipline is about efficient, understanding is about effectiveness. Having experienced the discipline part of his teaching, it makes me appreciate the understanding part of his teaching now.