abandonment part 2

Taking good Ukemi

I can fall well, he can be confident to throw me anyway, anywhere, anyhow, anytime and usually I can ukemi well enough to be unscathed. This is because I abandon. If I continue to hold as firmly and stiffly as I did 3 years back, I will not be able to feel his technique and his movement well enough to know when to ukemi. I would still be that ‘small fella with strong grip’. I learned to abandon myself when I am Harry sensei’s uke. I abandon safety, and trust him completely to ensure that I will not get injured. It was certainly not easy, there were times where I doubted or lapsed in concentration for a split second and took very bad ukemi from sensei. So when I reflect back, the more I abandon my doubts, and when I abandon those stuffs, I picked up more valuable lessons.

What prompted me to write about abandonment is I see how easy Harry sensei shrug off my seemingly vise like grip on him. Nobody can hold him down, and yet he is able to hold bigger guys down. I see his movement and realised that he literally holds on to nothing. and since he holds nothing, nothing can hold him. He simply shrug off any form of grip. I guess at his age, he has pretty much seen everything life has to throw at him and he pretty much have nothing much to hold on to.

But in that simplistically reductionistic, negative perspective is an amazingly powerful movement. Sure, he is not perfect, and I’ve seen him makes mistakes and he can and will die. so? It is his abandonment of any concept or reason that allows him to dispatch his uke off so easily. His abandonment of worldly stuffs and materials allows him to connect deeply with things that matters more, like his centre. It’s easy to mistake abandonment with aloofness, but those are world apart, abandonment means bringing presence into every situation, every dimension. Aloofness is, high in cloud nine, being insensitive to relationships.


About Who is Randy Lim

This blog is about the journey and experiences in my life as an Aikidoka. With close to 20 years in the arts, I'll make comments and judgements based on 2 principles, E&E. Experimentation and Experiential reflection. please enjoy, and comment freely.
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