Abandonment part 3

Beatles and Kenny Rogers

He has demonstrated umpteenth times how if we held onto a concept, the shoulder will tense up, and I can feel his movement. The instant he let go, I cannot hold him even with my life. which makes me hold onto him even tighter, making it easy for him to feel me. He let go of letting go of me and connect with his centre, I held onto him even harder and lost my centre to him. There is no Jedi mind trick, it’s simply Harry sensei harmoniously take me along with him, in order for him to do so, he has to abandon any notion of controlling me or the situation, he simple let it be, like how the Beatles sang it.

If there’s a need to hold onto something, if you need to win, sing it like Kenny Roger’s the Gambler instead, “you’ve got to know when to fold them, know when to hold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run…cos every hands a loser, and every hands a winner...’ So to win or lose, the need to know what to hold onto and what to abandon is vital. In Aikido, there is not a level of knowing, its a matter of absolute abandonment, knowing means there’s still holding onto something, hoping for soemthing. Abandon any hope, and life begins at the present, today, everyday. When I abandon, I no longer need to feel Harry sensei and know when to ukemi, because when the time comes to fall, I will fall unreservedly, unconditionally. No amount of knowing can realise that. Letting it be transcends winning, losing.

For Harry sensei, I guess he has pretty much abandon enough to know he doesn’t have to hold on much to win or lose. At his level, he has moved above winning and losing. Once a person has lost enough to know that winning is pretty much losing something else in exchange and move beyond that duality. Sure there are things and concepts he held onto, he does gets angry at time about things seem trivial to me, but overall, he has let go a lot more than I did. On the contrary, I’ve got so much more to hold onto than he can ever let go. He’s in his seventies and I am in my thirties, how the scale tip to the other side within a gap of forty years! So shall we gamble, or let it be?

 030125072010

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About Who is Randy Lim

This blog is about the journey and experiences in my life as an Aikidoka. With close to 20 years in the arts, I'll make comments and judgements based on 2 principles, E&E. Experimentation and Experiential reflection. please enjoy, and comment freely.
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