I redrafted this post in response to the ‘destruction’ post. Because, after writing that post and reading it, gave me a perspective of writing from my ego’s point of view. This is my ego’s ultimate fear. The terror of a Mental Nuclear Holocaust overwhelms the ego, leaves no safe haven to shelter the ego.
Think of it this way. we are all out to protect ourselves. even in suicide, we kill ourselves because we have to protect ourselves from some intolerable experience. That protection sometimes lies in the function of the ego, our very own body guard. But what happens when the body guard runs amok? or in the context of my ‘Destruction’ post, the death and destruction is so massive that it overwhelms the body guard? What happens next? That sends the ego into a panic mode beyond any description of panic.
So that ‘nuking’ of the brain, is a sign to reboot. Let go of old ideas, whatever i have in my mind, is transient. if the ease of a mental nuke exists, why hold on so dearly to what we know? Often, what we know impedes what we are going to know. My brain’s internal ‘auditor’ is sending a strong signal to enforce liberation through a mental annihilation.
Can i live with that? It seems like i cannot, but i can.
So let the nuking comes, if it comes. Fear it and the fear becomes you. If all the concepts gets written off. Fine. Re-write it again, the entire f**king book. start a clean slate, and find liberation in it. Perhaps nuking my brain is doing me a massive favour, we all need to do mental spring cleaning at times, what better way to do that than to raze everything to the ground in a instant. and then start anew?
So let it go, if you cannot let it go, let yourself nuke you. if it is still standing after the nuking, then its probably worth something. if it burns to the ground, it’s not worth holding onto to begin with.