I don’t really know a lot. I admit. Especially with Aikido, after so many years of practice, i still have that ‘performance anxiety’ feeling. There is so much that you can never find out about a person, about yourself. There is so much more we need to know so that we can make sounder decisions, and judgement.
Dealing in Aikido is about being comfortable with the unknown. In an Aikido practice, we can freeze, not knowing what to do, we can act despite of the unknown, or we can disregard the known and unknown, and just move. This can even happen with a partner whom we’ve practiced with for many years, we can become unfamiliar with thing we are so familiar with. do suddenly show proficient in stranges things we’ve never come across in our lives.
How did this happen then?
When we freeze, not knowing what to do, sometimes happen when we know a lot, we know we know a lot, and we let that knowledge freeze us. we have choices and are spoilt by the choices. We deliberate, we choose, we decide, we freeze. Even with a familiar tasks, we have more than one ways of completing it. and since we have more than one way, our critical mind will try to choose the best way, when sometimes there is none, it’s just the doing, irrespective how is should be best done.
When we act despite of the unknown, when we can take a bit more time to learn and with what we know we can make a better decision. Then of course the question is how much do we know before we know enough to move? to decide? the lines between not knowing and knowing enough is invisible. Experience can help to mitigate that known/unknown factor. Ignorance can also help to mitigate too.
Or we can disregard the known/unknown duality and act in the best interest of the situation. It is the in the spur of the moment act, the spontaneous move that propels act. Whether it is good or bad, the verdict is out there, to be dissected later in hind sight, while you are in it. you do your best, your experience is what you know, the situation is what you don’t know, between that is action, and it is the best course to follow. Have the confidence and trust that you can deal with the unknown, and the unknown, once become known, can be dealt with.
This is liken a bus ride. Say you wanna take a bus to Resorts World Sentosa, and you found out the route and all. so you take a bus, that is what you know, the bus number and the route, along the way the bus broke down, the unknown happens, no matter how much planning you do. So we can act on that unknown which is now known to us and make our adjustment to it. But of course the rattling of the bus’ engines could potentially tells you the bus will breakdown and you decided to alight, act prior to that. What happens if the bus doesn’t breakdown and you reach your destination? Some may say that i live such a life in this scenario in a reactive manner. I prefer to call it living life at the moment of knowledge. I act in spontaneous action to what has happened, not to what is going to happen. What has happened, happened, what hasn’t, has not. So we deal with what we know and leave the unknown. unknown, not withstanding that we must be resourceful to deal with the unknown.
We can never be fully prepared for life.