What can we ‘become’ upon embarking on the roads of Aikido?
Do we aspire to become like ‘O’ Sensei? Well, let’s be realistic, how many ‘O’ Senseis are there? Only one.
So if we do not aspire or dared to aspire to become one, then what is the whole point of training so hard?
Sure the short answer is quality, we aspire to train hard because we want to be associated with quality. We see the kind of smooth movement our teachers and instructors can execute and we want to learn and acquire that level of quality.
Well, after years of training that hard, did we get what we wanted? Well even if we did get a level of quality as we wanted, why do we keep training? Because we like that feeling of quality and we want more, advance level of that feeling. We simply become addicted to it.
This is one direction my writing is pointing, others join for a plethora of reasons, some really joined to become the next ‘O’ Sensei, who knows? Did ‘O’ Sensei knows for himself that he will become who he eventually became? What did ‘O’ Sensei want to be and become when he started learning martial arts?
This outpour of questions and doubts stems from how we bring ourselves into training, as long as we are not sure of who we want to become with Aikido training, we will be limited by how we can train. The opposite is true, if we are cock sure of who we will become when we train long enough in Aikido, we are equally limited to how much training we can get out of training.
So that is the proverbial double edge sword. Think about it, or not, this thought process happens to me, and I’m pretty sure it happens to the folks out there. It tears me apart because I cannot, and has yet to find the middle line. Maybe because the middle line is so fine and so tightly strung that by the simple act of walking on this line, I risk splitting myself right down the middle.
Of course, this is a myopic level of questioning, the big million, gazillion dollars question is who do you really want to be in your time of living, and how Aikido as one of your many tools of the living, will help you define who you really want to be?