I learned from a podcast by Gil Fronstal that ‘forgiveness, is giving up all hopes of a better past.’ Taking this loose definition with Albert Einstein’s famed definition of insanity; “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”
We see this everyday, in people and in ourselves. and in Aikido too. we are all insane and we cannot forgive ourselves for being insane. Why, then are we so stubborn? Especially in Aikido, i see a certain people i train with keep doing the same less effective way again and again. and see that they are frustrated getting it ‘wrong’ and yet, continue to do the same ‘wrong’ thing again, with eyebrows furrowed, as if they ate trying to solve the world’s greatest mysteries.
I get stuck in this loop all too often. And I often wondered to myself why am i so stubborn?
Its about giving up. We are stubborn, because we can only give up when we have tried all possible avenues. No one else can tell us that, similarly we cannot tell people to give up. sometimes we can, sometimes we listen to people, and give up. that happens, I feel is when we ourselves are already on the verge of giving up and someone came along and said something that made that small little rationale and we succumb to it. Having said that, at the end of the day, we ourselves have to consent to that external suggestion, if we refuse, for the umpteenth time, then we are clinically stubborn.
How can we do the same thing and expect a different resulted? And yet we keep trying and trying, banging our head against the same hard wall, expecting the wall to break, when our head will break first. Oh, of course I agree that in the toughest of times, defines us. when we go against the greatest of all challenges and overcome it, we are victorious.
What happens if we do not overcome that challenge? try again? and again? and again? same effort? same methodology? or just allow a defeat to happen? But we are define by our ‘defeat’ just as much as out ‘victory’. If we get so caught up trying to ‘win’ all the time, that is where we delve into the realm of Einstein’s definition of of a nutcase. we expect a win in every scenario and we expect a win, doing the same old thing over and over again. And when we cannot win, we cannot forgive ourselves, and let our past haunts us. and with our past failures, it chases us to do more of the same thing when the whole equation has changed. Doing the same thing will never be the same again., neither will it change the past.