Having the last say

It must have come with age. I realised that i have this tendency to comment about everything and anything. Even if there is something that i shouldn’t have an opinion about, i would say something, or learn a little about that something so as to comment about it.

I guess everyone wants to have an opinion. Of late, this quiet nature of mine which has always been my most comfortable form is beginning to blossom. Sometimes the wisest thing to say is to say nothing, very much like Ronan Keating’s hit song “…you say it best, when you say nothing at all…”

So what is it about that ‘last say?’ It’s a deeply ingrained desire to be and show the world what a smart-ass i am. there is a need to be clever, smart and intellegent, and to do nothing and say nothing just doesn’t equate wisdom.

Similarly, in the dojo, when we are the nage, and sometime, when we throw our uke, at the end of thetechnique, we sometimes have this tendency to give our uke that little ‘flick’ of the wrist’ or that little nudge, so as to leverage a littel more, give the fella a little more propulsion, make the fella fall a little harder. Even when our uke has totally and completely lost the balance, we still have to give that little edge, that little bit of ‘us’. sometimes it is necessary, but more often then not, it is our desire to have a little more stylish finish.

Sometime, there is no closure. something is just simply best left unfinished, or perhaps it already has long finished. The matter is so finished that our mind cannot accept the state of the finishness, hence we continue and edge in that ‘last say.’

This exposes our desire to win, sometimes at all cost, even at our own cost. We often get caught in an argument where there is a lull between the argument, instead f taking the cue to shut up and move on, we chip in our last say, and the entire matter flare up again, bring the argument back for an irrelevant and necessary second round. Instead of winning the argument, we end up losing more to rage and anger.

Just let it go, and allow the situation takes its own turn and comes to its own organic end. The matter would have said its last say, way before we say ours.


About Who is Randy Lim

This blog is about the journey and experiences in my life as an Aikidoka. With close to 20 years in the arts, I'll make comments and judgements based on 2 principles, E&E. Experimentation and Experiential reflection. please enjoy, and comment freely.
This entry was posted in Something else, the grey matter and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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