I went to practice on Wednesday night with a focus, to make peace with these 2 minds, the working mind and the heart mind. I told myself, give these two realms free, non-critical, non-judgemental opinions.
To allow my uke to appear in my realm of consciousness, and to take in the geometrical, symmetrical considerations, and execute the waza to my best ability. If I fuss up, no big deal, the working mind does not need to go ‘tsk!!’ As the heart mind will know that there is a vastness in allowance for failures. And as i practise the waza, i know that i cannot take it too easy, falling into the heart realm, and use my working mind to discern, in proper perspective my uke.
The experience is a certain calm, a clinical type of clam, not too excited, not too dull. The attention is attentive, not too taut, not too slack. Ukes are dispatched accordingly, not too violently, and if i screwed up, I redo the technique again, no frustration to what has happened.
It is an interesting feeling. The aim becomes balanced, I feel like I ‘wanted’ do to the technique, but not wanting to do it so well that it actually turn out badly. This is the paradox we all face, we became eager beavers to get something done so well that in reality, it turned out to be a big mess.
The experience is an ability to settle down quickly and learn from my mistakes quickly, and correct it even quicker. There is no impediments of memory, nor conditioning. Somehow, I didn’t repeat the mistake again, rather the correction was made quickly in the next move. Even if i didn’t correct my mistakes fast enough, there was no ‘tsk!’ to want to correct it quickly.
There were of course times where one mind dominated the other, when this happens, i just allow the presence to be felt, and the dominating mind recedes and allow the other mind to takes its right share of the space. There was no struggle internally, There could be a dominating force, but there was no struggle for the less dominated mind to fight for presence. The sway is gradual and smooth. Both minds seem to be able to work together, and bring about a cool, collected focus for this body, called Randy.