Of late, I noticed that when i train, I can sense that i am doing something wrong and i go “ArRGGGHHH!” stopped myself and restart the technique from the beginning. Or at times Harry sensei micro corrected my movement, and I adjusted myself promptly from there on.
Or the positioning of my legs, body etcetera.
Slowly i realised that i am becoming self-aware, more and more, as i trained. This is why Aikido is so unique and endearing. You get to discover the pool at your own pace, seldom do you get thrown into the deep end and left to learn how to swim by yourself, or drown.
Because ‘O’ sensei started Aikido with no competition, we can all learn at our own pace. Some slow, some quickly, but all at our own pace, for some, mistaken as leisure. It all comes down to the same manner, to achieve a total self awareness, or to some measure, higher self awareness than we first started out.
This is where I am beginning to feel. I can stop myself when i catch myself improperly positioned. or the turning is incomplete. or I am not thinking clearly, or fear speaks to me louder than usually. Aikido is very dynamic, unlike mediation, where you still yourself to find yourself. In Aikido, you find yourself moving yourself. As always the diplomatic caveat is that each to it own, I cannot claim that the former is better than the latter or vice versa. I can meditate as much as i can move,and i feel that movement and non-movement complements each other.
Anyway, I’m going out of tangent…
In the ability to become self aware, we can then start to appreciate ourselves, where the quality of mind, harmonises with the quantity of the physical. I am a small fella, and only when i can make my psyche and physic meet and work together, then i can stand to gain a better leverage.
Only when you become self aware, then we can realize our own mistakes, and only when we can realize our own mistaken then can we see that same mistake happening on other people, only when we can see that mistake happening to us and other people, then we can have a window of opportunity to correct these mistakes, and the lo and behold! A teacher is born….
I can be mistaken to insinuate that i am proficient to teach, and I shall not protest to this misconception, what i am simply saying is that, to become a teacher especially in an art like Aikido, you really need to know your stuff, there is no bullshitting, you can means you can, you can’t, well then you suck. And the only way for you to be good as a teacher is to be good as a student, be the best darn student in the cohort, and you’ll turn out to be a pretty decent teacher.